Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
