This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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