Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize