Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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