oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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