Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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