She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
