that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I look better un-naked...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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