Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
