Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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