I am spending my child support on dildos
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
