I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize