But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
