to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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