We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
