i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Panties = found
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