I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
