She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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