margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
