"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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