please come you make the beer taste better
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
