coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
