We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize