Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
