Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer