Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning