You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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