Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
high people should be assigned attendants
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
