This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
