someone threw a dead crab at me
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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