i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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