Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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