How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
