I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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