So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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