I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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