Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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