He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
