so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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