Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
