shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
