Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize