I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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