Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
