Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
