JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
