is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
