The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
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he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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