what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
