I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
