i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
