Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
