either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
