You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
