Who wears a wallet chain?!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
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I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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