he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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