We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize