His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
