I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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