your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Randomize
