My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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