Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
